Sometimes the hardest step is the first.
Actually, it’s almost always the hardest one. This week I’m taking my own first steps back to living life on my terms – two months post-partum.
The day after our precious baby arrived, the fog had already lifted off my brain. I felt like myself again after nine months of just making it through the day. Feeling like myself again meant that I also soon thereafter started believing I could do anything that I used to be able to nine months earlier. Nothing could be further from the truth! Not only had I been immobile for the majority of my pregnancy, I now also had a new life in front of me with a baby to take care of and all that it means.
As I always say: When life feels overwhelming – take a step back. So, I took a step back. I decided to actually take a break from all demands, except for my son’s. I decided that I was worthy of a vacation. It was a necessary step in order to find myself during this huge transition. My motivation and will to create has now come back, but each day I feel lost for what to do. I’m tired, I’m constantly on demand, and when I finally get freed up I have no idea what to do. Not because I don’t have a bunch of things on my mind, but because I have this constant nagging thought that no matter what I choose, it won’t make a difference with the small amount of time that I have.
That stops today.
I still don’t have time. I will probably never have the same time again for the next 20 years. But I do have some time, and it’s only me who have the power to choose what I make of it.
Perfectionism has never helped me get started before, so in order to get going again I really need to be conscious with my thought patterns. This week is all about making it shitty. The first step needs to be taken, and it needs to be taken shitty.
The coming week I will:
☑ Clear the last bit of renovation stuff off of the base floor (we’re finally done with the kitchen!)
☑ Post my first blog post after the break
☐ Create a meal plan for easy cooking
☐ Start with a very simple workout regime
All my life I’ve been excellent at postponing starting this and starting that because I was trying to create the perfect plan. If you’re the same, let me tell you; the plan doesn’t matter anything if you don’t take the first step towards actually fulfilling it. Instead of spending all day planning, try out doing. Even if it’s just for five minutes. Even if it won’t be to the best of your abilities. Just do, and you’ll get closer to your goal.
By posting this post without a plan, late in the evening when my brain isn’t at it’s peak performance, I won’t win the olympics in blog posting, but I will check off a box and with that also overcome the first uncomfortable step. With some luck the next step will be easier. If not, at least I’ll know that I’ve taken uncomfortable steps before.
